Day Twenty Five. Write about confidence and how people can achieve confidence.

If I could give everyone I know the confidence they deserve, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Tips on building confidence.

1. Don't leave the house without putting some effort in your appearance. I started noticing that the days I was especially critical and hard on myself were days that I just rolled out of bed and threw on clothes. Now, I love being lazy as much as the next person and maybe this just happens with me. But I would feel like crap all day when I did that. When I actually take a little bit of pride in my appearance I always feel better about myself.

2. For every insult you throw at yourself, think of two compliments.

3. Surround yourself with people that bring you up instead of tear you down.

4. Accept your flaws. You are not going to be perfect. That's what makes you human.

5. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself and even dislike yourself. What matter is that at the end of the day, you eat some ice cream (or drink some wine) and realize that you are still the best damn person you can be. And move on.

Day 24. Are you a feminist?

Well, I am majoring in Women Studies.

In today's world, which self-respecting woman isn't a feminist?
I know the term has a bad history of being associated with the women who burned their bras, hated all men, and were quite extreme in their beliefs.
That isn't what feminism is about.
Feminism is the belief that women and men are equal.
Why is that such a radical idea for people to support?
If you believe in human rights you should believe in feminism, because it's just a category of human rights. It's really that simple.

Some people that I have talked with don't like the idea of women's studies, because we don't have a men's studies. To them I say this:

We wouldn't feel the need to learn more about women and celebrate our accomplishments, differences, and history if we hadn't been tossed aside, ridiculed, and treated like nothing for centuries. 

Day Twenty Three. Must see movies.

1. Moulin Rouge

2. Phantom of the Opera

3. The King's Speech

4. Atonement

5. All Disney animated movies. ALL OF THEM.

6. Howl's Moving Castle

7. (500) Days of Summer

8. I Love You, Man

9. Robin Hood, Men in Tights

10. Pride and Prejudice

I already wrote a blog a year ago about my two favorite movies (How to Train Your Dragon and Slumdog Millionaire) so that's why those aren't on here.

I really love movies, so I have a lot more I could recommend... But that list would probably be about 50 films long.

Day Twenty Two. A letter to your parents.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you for always supporting me, like during my years in theatre, or when I decided to switch majors halfway through college. 

Thank you for loving me through all of my crazy, irrational, angry, and harsh moments.

Thank you for giving me a very happy childhood.

Thank you for for blessing me with four younger siblings.

Thank you for teaching me the meaning of hard work, patience, forgiveness, and love. 

Thank you for all the hugs and kisses.

Thank you for the advice, compliments, encouragement, and sarcastic comments.

Mom,

You are the hardest working woman I know. You are the rock in our family and one of my best friends. You always know what to say, and you give the best hugs, even when I don't want one. 

I only hope I can be half the mom you are.

Daddy,

Despite every disagreement we've had over the years, you are my biggest supporter in everything I do. You've never once given up on me or stopped helping me achieve my goals.

I could never, ever thank you enough for everything you have done. 

Thank you for giving me the world.

Love,

Teaspoon

Day 21. Must read books.

EVERYONE MUST READ THE HARRY POTTER SERIES.
And the Hunger Games trilogy.
Obviously.

1. The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hasseini. I read both books in high school and they both left a huge impact on me. Their stories tell a lot about human struggle and triumph, as well as true friendship.

2. Looking For Alaska, An Abundance of Katherines, Paper Towns, and The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. All of these are Young Adult literature, but the best on the shelf right now. All have their own very different stories and cover topics ranging from child prodigies, cancer, road trips, and falling in love for the first time.

3. The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson. One of the most twisted novels I've ever read, but also one of the top five best books I've ever read too. If you don't like drugs, sex, alcohol, religion, the mentally ill, or Medieval Germany you might not want to read this book. Otherwise, you better pick it up right now.

4. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I already wrote a blog about the movie and the book is just as fantastic. SO READ IT.

5. Bossy Pants by Tina Fey. I've never laughed so hard reading a book before.

Day Twenty. What is your opinion on gay marriage?

I should rephrase this question to "What is your opinion on marriage?"

My response is simple: 

I believe that everyone should have the right to marry whomever they love. 

People often use Christian morals to back up their belief in that marriage is only between a man and a woman. When it comes to our government, we can't involve religion in order to decide what is right and what is wrong. People might turn up their noses by me saying that, since I am a Christian, but Jesus told us to love everyone. His message was never about hate. It was one of loving our neighbors as ourselves. How would you feel if heterosexual marriage was viewed as immoral and unnatural and your marriage was deemed illegal? We are not a theocracy, we are a democracy. This shouldn't be a religious issue, or even a political one! I believe that it is a basic human right to marry and by placing laws against gay marriage, we are denying a basic human right to many people in the United States.

I have many friends that are gay and it really upsets me when I hear people say that they don't have the right to marry their loved one. In fact, a few months ago I told one of my best friends that I can't wait for the day that I get to watch her marry the woman she loves. And I know that she is just as excited to see me marry the man I love. 

And since I love to quote my favorite Green brothers, I'll end this blog with a quote from Hank Green from this video that he posted 6 months ago.

"This isn't a political issue. It's just deciding that we're going to treat some citizens of our country differently than the other citizens. And that's wrong." 

Day 19. What makes you unique?

I would say one of my physical features that makes me unique is my curly hair. Curly hair isn't extremely popular and mine can be kinda weird sometimes. 

The above picture doesn't count because I curled my hair with a curling iron... 

I also think that being relentlessly optimistic makes me unique. I won't deny that I have my bad days, but I really try to maintain a happy outlook on life. 

Day 18. Favorite memories.

Since I talked about my childhood a couple days ago, I'll stick with favorite memories from high school  and college.

High School
Senior Prom. Such a great night with all of my high school friends :) AND I got to watch my sister win Princess, after telling everyone to vote for her and her boyfriend!
Visiting Universal Studios with the family during spring break my junior year.
Sooooo many memories from theatre. From camping, to the Z quote wall, to The Distaff Side, to cast parties, to children's theatre, to every single long rehearsal spent at the Dogwood... Some of the best times ever.
Going to see the Jonas Brothers in concert for my 16th birthday.
That one time we had a day off from school for sewage issues.
Senior year was actually kinda awesome in general, because I spent most of my time in Video Communications or being a TA in World History.... so basically doing nothing.
Graduating.

College
Adventures with Anna around Mount Pleasant. Like the one time we snuck into the boy's bathroom.
Meeting one of my best friends our first day at Central.
Seeing We The Kings in concert.
All those Taco Bell food runs during Freshmen year.
The crazy shenanigans Cynthia, Ashley, and I would get into Freshmen year.
The midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part two.
Visiting Uncle John's with my friends last year.
Becoming obsessed with playing the Sims and Mario Kart with Meagan and the boys. It kinda took over our lives for a brief period of time.
Going to Chicago for the first time.
The last week of my sophomore year spring semester.
My study abroad experience.

Day 17. Which Disney princess do you identify with the most?

I LOVE DISNEY. 

I think I identify with Belle from The Beauty and The Beast and Rapunzel from Tangled the most.
Belle and I share a love for books, seeing the best in people, and caring for their family a lot.
Rapunzel and I are both big dreamers, a little quirky, and hopelessly optimistic.

Also, Eugene Fitzherbert is my second favorite Disney male after Aladdin...
I must have a thing for Disney bad boys? ;)

Day Sixteen. Write about your childhood.

My childhood was the best. From what I can remember, at least. Growing up the eldest of five proved to be an interesting, difficult, and hilarious. One of my earliest memories is the day my youngest sister Abby was born. I remember Dad rushing downstairs after dinner telling us to finish cleaning off the table, because he had to take us to Aunt Terri's because mommy was going to have the baby! 

Every summer was spent at my Grandma Fren's house with my cousins. I think it was almost every day we would head over there and spend all afternoon swimming, swinging on the play set, running around her yard, eating ice cream, and watching movies. We also had the Peldenrust Pig Roast to look forward to every summer. My dad and his best friend started throwing it a year before my parents got married and it was just a big summer party with food, drinks, volleyball (at the beginning for the adults) and laughs. Later, we added a moon bounce for the kids to play around in. :) Oh! And camping. My family loooooved to go camping during the summer with our friends. We would go for at least a month out of the summer and it was always the best time of the year. And how can I forget 4-H! My family began participating in 4-H and the county fair when I was 7 years old. (I think. My memory is fuzzy). Combined, we have shown cows, chickens, ducks, horses, steers, pigs, and lambs. It was the most challenging and exhausting work during the summer and there were many times I loathed it, especially the one time I was dragged through a cornfield by a cow... but we won't talk about that anymore. However, looking back at years in 4-H, I know that it shaped me to be a more responsible person and it was a huge part of my childhood. 

Living on a farm, fall or "harvest time" was always one of the busiest times of the year. We'd get to ride in the tractor or combine with dad sometimes, which was obviously the coolest. Halloween was always one of my favorite childhood memories. My mom would get all of us kids ready, haul us around in the car to all of our friends and family and we'd always end up at Grandma Frens' house. Now, this was always the best part of Halloween, because Grandma loves to dress up for Halloween. Every year she'd buy a new costume and we would spend all night trying to guess what she might be. She's been everything from a skeleton with blood dripping down the ribs, to a blow-up cowboy. Plus, she always had my favorite kind of sugar cookies to eat when we got there! 

During the holidays, we'd split our time between the Pell and Frens families. We always had Thanksgiving with my mom's family, and then two parties for each side during Christmas. The Pell Christmas was always on Christmas Eve. My Pell family is pretty big... and Grandma and Grandpa's house isn't the biggest, so the Christmas party was always loud, rowdy but a lot of fun. The grandkids loved running around, playing foosball in the basement, and eating some of Grandma's famous cherry cobbler. Christmas morning at my house was (and still is) one of my favorite times of the year. When we were younger, I don't think my siblings slept for more than two hours on Christmas Eve. We would try to stay up all night, watching movies, reading, playing games, anything to pass the time until Dad came home from milking cows and we could run downstairs to open our stockings and then our presents. 

Birthdays were always a cause for the family to get together, eat great food, cake and my dad's AWESOME hot fudge. Seriously, you can't beat it. 

I'm very grateful for the awesome childhood I had. My family blessed me with a lot of great memories :)

My first Halloween.

                    

At a petting zoo in Arizona.

Caitlin, Jessica, and I.

Caitlin, Dad, Abby, Mom, Seth, Jessica, and I.

Cocoa the cow and I.

 Jessica, Caitlin, Seth, and I before the first day of 5th grade.

Day Fifteen: Who is your favorite musician?

My favorite band is We The Kings.
Other bands I really like are Fun, Parachute, Maroon Five, Skillet, and Lady Antebellum.

My favorite singer is Adele.
Other singers I really like are Demi Lovato, Eminem, Lady GaGa, and Michael Buble.

It's an odd mix of musicians, but they all have songs that mean a lot to me. :)

Day Fourteen: What makes you happy?

mountain dew icees.
holding hands.
reading a new book.
playing with little kids.
good grades.
cuddling/falling asleep in someone's arms.
sleeping in.
good hair days.
watching my favorite movies.
fast food runs with the best friends.
finding cute clothes that fit and are within my price range.
the weekend.
traveling.
listening to my favorite songs at high volume.
hugs.
my mom's cooking.
cute ginger guys.
being with my friends.
driving down my road during a sweet, summer night with the windows down and the music up.
crawling into bed after an exhausting day.
concerts.
boys with accents.
random acts of kindness between strangers.
catching up with friends.
family parties.
cooking.
creating memories with the people i love.

Day Thirteen: Talk about your hometown.

I grew up  in Fremont, Michigan.
It's a small, rural town known for the Gerber Baby Food Company that was founded there.
Otherwise, it's your completely average American small town.

We have a lot (probably too many) churches and hair salons.
Agriculture is a huge aspect of our community.
We're the only town in our county with a Wal-Mart.
My graduating class was around 175 and we were one of the bigger classes to graduate in recent years.
It's a generally conservative/Republican community.
A "night out in Fremont" means either
a) bowling or the movies if you're in middle or high school
b) the bar if you're older than 21

A lot of people around my age dislike Fremont. As soon as they graduate they want to get out of town, and it's always amazing how many of them stay around...
My opinion?
Fremont was a great place to grow up. I love the countryside surrounding the town and all of my family lives there. But I will be leaving Fremont for good once I graduate from CMU. I will always enjoy visiting my family there, but I need a place where I can actually put my History degree to use. Especially after living in London I've realized I like the big city. I'm not a fan of public transportation, but there's something magical about the way a city can light up at night.

But don't get me wrong, I'll always be a fan of those sweet, summer, country nights at home too. :)

Day Twelve: Top five favorite song lyrics.

These aren't my all time favorite, since I think that would be impossible, but here are some songs that are my favorite right now!

Adele- Set Fire to the Rain

I let it fall, my heart 

And as it fell, you rose to claim it

It was dark and I was over

Until you kissed my lips and you saved me

My hands, they're strong

But my knees were far too weak

To stand in your arms 

Without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew

All the things you'd say they were never true, never true

And the games you play, you would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain

Watched it pour as I touched your face

Let it burn while I cry

Cause I heard it screaming out your name

Fun- Out on the Town

I set all my regrets on fire

Cause I know I'll never take the time 

To unpack my missteps and call all of our friends

I figured they would take your side

I make the bed, just not that well

Your name comes up a lot

When I talk to my mom

Oh, I think she can tell

I was out on the town

So I came to your window last night

I tried not to throw stones

But I wanted to come inside

Now I'm causing a scene, thinking you need a reason to smile

Oh no, what have I done?

There's no one to keep me warm

So maybe I should put up a fight

I'll call them back and borrow a box knife

So I can learn to live with all the stupid shit I've been doing since '99

And I know I could be more clever

And I know I could be more strong

But I'm waiting for the day you come back and say

"Hey, maybe I should change my mind"

I drink a lot

I'm not sure if that's new

But these days when I wake up from a night I forgot

I just wish that it never came true

We The Kings- Skyway Avenue

She said let's change our luck

This night is all we've got

Drive fast until we crash

This dead end life

Sweet dreams that won't come true

I'd leave it all for you

Brick walls are closing in

Let's make a run tonight

Blinded by the lights

Hold you through forever

Won't let you go

Cause if you jump

I will jump too

We will fall together

From the building's ledge

Never looking back at what we've done 

We'll say it was love

Cause I would die for you

On skyway avenue

She said don't change your mind

Let's leave this town behind

We'll race right off the cliff

They will remember this 

It all got so mundane

With you I'm back again

Just take me by the hand

We're close to the edge

Hunter Hayes- Wanted

You know I'd fall apart without you

I don't know how you do what you do

Cause everything that don't make sense about me

Makes sense when I'm with you

Like everything that's green, girl I need you

But it's more than one and one makes two

Put aside the math and logic of it

You gotta know you're wanted too

Cause I wanna wrap you up

Wanna kiss your lips

I wanna make you feel wanted

And I wanna call you mine

Wanna hold your hand forever

Never let you forget it

Yea, I wanna make you feel wanted

Calvin Harris featuring Florence Welch- Sweet Nothing

You took my heart and you held it in your mouth

And, with a word all my love came rushing out

And, every whisper, it's the worst, emptied out by a single word

There is a hollow in me now

So I put my faith in something unknown

I'm living on such sweet nothing

But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold

I'm living on such sweet nothing

And it's hard to learn

And it's hard to love

When you're giving me such sweet nothing

Sweet nothing, sweet nothing

You're giving me such sweet nothing

It isn't easy for me to let it go cause

I've swallowed every single word

And every whisper, every sigh eats away at this heart of mine

And there is a hollow in me now

Day Eleven: Who do you love?

Meagan and Anna.

Cynthia and Ashley.

Andrew, Corbin, and Sean.

Lil M.

My parents.

My siblings.

Kubra.

My cousins.

Myah, and my grandparents.

Day 10: Highs and lows of the past year.

Highs Points

• The beginning of summer
• Introducing Caitlin at the State FFA Convention 
• Seeing Big Ben for the first time
• Meeting Charlie McDonnell
• The Hunger Games midnight premiere
• "The bunny is going to eat me, Meagan!" 

Low Points

• The end of summer
• Falling off Mount Feeling
• Breaking up
• My Physical Geography class

Day Nine: What is your biggest regret?

Falling for someone I never thought I would and being stupid enough to believe he was a better person. 

Other than that, I try not to regret too many things. 

Regret weighs you down and turns you bitter.

I hate being bitter.

Day Eight: 15 facts about yourself.

1. Dark chocolate is my favorite.

2. After my visit to the zoo today, I want to be a seal.

3. I'm not very good at relationships.

4. I would like to be a history professor in the future.

5. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't began reading Harry Potter in the fourth grade.

6. I'm probably the most impatient person I know.

7. I prefer British history over American history.

8. I want to do a cross country road trip after I graduate college.

9. Potatoes are my favorite food.

10. I love kids and I can't wait to be a mom. Well, I can wait. It won't be for a long time, but I'm still excited for it. :)

11. My favorite love story is Jim and Pam's from The Office.

12. I don't think I will ever get rid of my glasses, because I don't feel comfortable and confident enough without them.

13. My least favorite feelings are anger and loneliness. 

14. I would prefer to stay in than go out all the time.

15. I think being a pirate would be cool.

Day Seven: A letter to someone who isn’t in the same country as you.

Dear Anna and Meagan,

I miss you, my fabulous partners-in-crime. Every day I wish you were here with me, because no one understands my awkward, crazy, ridiculous, dramatic self more than you two silly heads. And I am forever grateful for that. I'll be sitting in class and wish I could text you guys. I'll be sitting in my bedroom missing those days when we could just laze around in our pj's all day, play Sims, and watch movies. I also really miss our adventures, late night food runs, and all the inside jokes only you guys understand.

Next semester, we will just have to double our shenanigans to make up for this semester.

Miss you both ttttttttthhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssss much.

Love,
The Light To Your World
Tonja

Day Six: Top five pet peeves.

1. Bad hair days. Really, it drives me crazy when my hair doesn't cooperate with me. Which happens more than I want it to...

2. Rudeness. Which can come in many forms and they all annoy me.

3. The sound of an alarm clock in the morning.

4. Over-thinking of situations. I do this too much and that's probably why it bothers me so much.

5. When people make fun of Hufflepuffs.

Day Five: Current relationship.

Well, I am not currently in a relationship.

To be honest, that's for the best. 

I'm still a romantic at heart, but lately I've been slightly bitter towards relationships. Which I don't actually enjoy. I'd much rather be happy and optimistic about love and such, so I need to be in a better mind-set before I even think about dating. 

I also need to be more comfortable with myself and have better confidence, because I've always been a firm believer that you have to like yourself before getting into a relationship. 

But I would totally be okay if I met Rupert Grint in the street and he professed his love for me. ;)

Day Four: Five things you want to change.

1. I would like to change the distance between me and my friends and family. If only for a day. And they would have to join me in merry ol' England. :)

2. The exchange rate between the British pound and the US dollar.

3. For Mountain Dew to be sold in the UK. Seriously, you crazy Brits don't know what you're missing.

4. The world economy.

5. The stereotypes people hold of ethnic, religious, and cultural groups.

Day Three: What are your thoughts about body image issues?

Tina Fey sums it up pretty well with this quote from her fantastic book Bossy Pants,

"Every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall butt, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, and the arms of Michelle Obama. The only person close to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling." 

In my psychology of women class last semester we watched a movie about the media and how it portrays women. They discussed body image and such and the pressure women feel to live up to the impossible image the media portrays. One of the things that really struck me from that video was the fact that, as women, we are constantly being told a double standard.
We are told we have to be sexy, yet innocent.
We are told to show off our bodies, but not to be proud or happy with how we look.

How messed up is that?

If we're too sexy, we're called sluts. If we're too innocent, we're called prudes. If we wear make-up, people assume we're trying too hard. If we wear no make-up, people assume we're lazy or sick. It sometimes feels like a game we can never win.

Now, since I'm not a man I don't know first-hand the issues they deal with about body image. But I know they do. The media and society is actually greatly increasing their stereotyping and criticizing of men as well. The percentage is still much greater for women, but I'm not going to deny that men don't face a lot of pressure as well.

Honestly, I just wish I could take away all of the body hatred that seems to flood our media. I hate the idea that little girls and boys (and even big girls and boys) are learning to hate themselves and that they need to look a certain way in order to be anything. I want to hug them and tell them how beautiful they are and that no one should tell them otherwise.

Day Two: A letter to someone who inspires you.

Dear friends,

I had a difficult time deciding who to write this letter to, because I've already talked about most of the people who inspire me in previous blogs... so I thought "Who inspires me to be a better Tonya?"

And then I realized... it's you.
My friends.
The people I can stay up talking to until 3 AM, who I cause mayhem with, that have my back no matter what, and accept me for all that I am. Without your support, love, advice, and craziness I wouldn't be the person I am today. You inspire me every day to be a better person and a better friend.

I am so incredibly blessed to know you all and I wish I could give each of you a hug right now. Because I love hugs and I think people should hug more often.

With all my love,

Tonya
Tonga
Tonks
Big T
Won Ton
Tonja
Teaspoon

Day One: What was the last movie you saw in the cinema?

Perks of Being a Wallflower was the last movie I saw in the cinemas.

I promise not to give away the plot for my friends that haven't seen it yet.

But holy shit it was one of the best movies I've seen this year.
I read the book back in high school and was an instant fan. It was quirky, moving, thoughtful, and just really good. When I read it was being made into a movie, I was excited. Then I heard Logan Lerman and Emma Watson were going to be in it and I literally couldn't wait to see it.

I read a review that called Perks a modern classic, and I completely agree. To cover so many difficult topics in a book is one thing. To do it on screen is something totally different. I LOVE that the author, Stephen Chbosky, wrote the screenplay, produced and directed the film, because that's what made the movie such a success. I left the cinema almost in tears. The characters pulled on my heartstrings and the story moved me just as much as it did the first time I read it. The young cast was able to do such a phenomenal job, especially Ezra Miller as Patrick and Logan as Charlie.

Also, the soundtrack is great too. I've been thinking about buying it...


Seriously, please go see it. I know you will love it.

25 days of writing

Blog challenge

1.     What was the last movie you saw in theaters?
2.     A letter to someone who inspires you.
3.     What are your thoughts about body image?
4.     Five things you want to change.
5.     Current relationship.
6.     Top five pet peeves.
7.     A letter to someone who isn’t in the same country as you.
8.     15 facts about yourself.
9.     What is your biggest regret?
10. Highs and lows of the past year.
11. Who do you love?
12. Top five favorite song lyrics.
13. Talk about your hometown.
14. What makes you happy?
15. Who is your favorite musician?
16. Write about your childhood.
17. Which Disney princess do you identify with the most?
18. Favorite memories.
19. What makes you unique?
20. What is your opinion on gay marriage?
21. Must read books.
22. A letter to your parents.
23. Must see movies.
24. Are you a feminist?
25. Write about confidence and how people can achieve confidence.

i need your help.

I've been writing a lot on my other blog, Tales from London but I've been neglecting this one!
So, I want to do another 30 Day Blog Challenge but all of the ones I found online sucked. Instead, I'd like you, my wonderful and beautiful friends, to give me ideas! I have a hard time believing I'll get 30 people to respond to this, so I'll take as many as I can get and then add a few of my own!

I'd like to say I will take any questions/topics... but I know how crazy some of you are. So, just keep the ideas somewhat realistic. Please and thank you!

a lot on my mind.

I've learned some things in the past couple of weeks.

1) Stay the hell away from assholes.

2) You can't push your feelings to the side and try to ignore them. Just because you can't handle what you're feeling doesn't mean you need to deny the fact that you are hurting and why you're hurting.

3) Heartbreak hurts a little less every day.

I know I'm not the only person to struggle with being happy and overcoming difficult things. I consider myself an optimistic, happy, friendly person. These past two weeks I haven't been at all and it's been more difficult than I thought it would be to get back to that person, even if it's only a little bit. I've found that listening to your favorite band over and over helps a lot. So does sleeping...

What I have really struggled with lately is that I felt like I didn't have a legitimate reason to feel the way I did and act like I was. I kept telling myself that other people were experiencing worse and more upsetting situations and I needed to stop the pity party for myself. But telling myself that didn't work. I only felt more miserable, because I couldn't continue to ignore that I was not happy. At all. Then I saw the above quote on tumblr and everything clicked.
I was hurting over something because it was important to ME. It didn't matter if it had no value to anyone else. It affected my life and my happiness, so I had every right to feel the way I did, and still do.
Honestly, since reading that quote and the story behind it I've been feeling better about myself and happier.

So thank you, John Green. DFTBA <3

countdown.

Apartment Move In: 16 days

Mt. Pleasant Visit: 20 days

Week in Mt. Pleasant: 34 days

LONDON: 42 days

I can do this.

I miss my friends. :(

inspired by liz lemon.

I was watching 30 Rock a couple weeks back and Liz Lemon said this,

I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musical, but knows to just shut his mouth when I'm watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like him, even when I'm old.

So, I wrote this. It's not as funny or as clever, but this is what I want some day. 

I want someone who isn’t afraid to admit his feelings, doesn’t think it’s very cool to be a hater, and doesn’t dress like a tool. A man who will cuddle up with me and watch Disney movies all day long, and who thinks Harry Potter is freaking awesome. A gentleman who respects himself and me, knows exactly what to say when I’m feeling sad, and understands that there are times when I’m not going to want to be reasonable. He doesn’t have to like everything I like, he can do whatever he wants to and be whoever he wants to be, as long as he doesn’t try to change me. I want to be his one and only, the Hermione to his Ron, the Katniss to his Peeta, and the Elizabeth to his Mr. Darcy. 

countdown to london.

While driving home from work today, blaring One Direction and enjoying the beautiful weather... something hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'm going to be in London, England in less than four months.

I know that I've been buying plane tickets and filling out paperwork for studying abroad, but it wasn't until today that I realized one of my dreams is going to come true very, very soon.
I'm going to be surrounded by people with awesome accents. And I'll be able to stare at the very attractive men.
I'm going to visit and see the places I've only read about in books.
I'm going to be on the same island that JK Rowling lives and works and breathes. (Yes, that is supposed to sound slightly stalkerish.)

Honestly, there isn't a bone in my body that is scared about doing this.
I've been ready to do this for the past five years, and it's surreal that I'm this close to checking off one of my bucket list items.

What My Mother Taught Me

Happy Mother's Day!

I have complied a list of some of the life lessons my mother has taught me.
Enjoy!

1. I don't need to show off a lot of skin, wear a lot of make-up, or wear skin-tight clothes to be considered beautiful.
2. Never wear white pants with colored or patterned underwear.
3. Always clean up your own mess, especially in the kitchen.
4. Whining will never get you anywhere except your bedroom, without any dinner.
5. A good judge of character is how a friend treats your younger siblings.
6. Relationships are hard, but worth it.
7. Save, save, save your money. (I struggle with this lesson!)
8. God should be in the center of everything you do.
9. There is always more laundry.
10. Sarcasm is spelled S-M-A-R-T-A-S-S.

Second Year.

I figured since I wrote a blog commemorating my freshmen year at Central, I might as well continue the tradition. Sophomore year was better, and worse, than freshmen year. I think I changed more, but I don't think it was for the worse.

I changed my major and career path, experienced my first serious relationship and break-up, made new friends, made some dumb decisions, learned about people, and myself, started on the journey of studying abroad, and left my teen years behind. I told my roommate that I could definitely re-live this year again, drama and all.

I know a lot of students look forward to summer, because they don't have to worry about school. But I'm already missing Mount Pleasant and seeing my friends every day. I'm excited to finally make some money and take a break in learning, but my friends were there for me throughout this whole year. Through every rant, cry, high maintenance moment, laugh, hug, Mount Feeling time, and more. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that I won't be joining them in August when school starts up again. Don't get me wrong, I can not WAIT to go to London... but I'm also excited for January when I can spend every day with the best friends ever.

<3

"The Hunger Games" movie review.

Part One: The Acting
There was never a doubt in my mind that Jennifer Lawerence would be able to embody Katniss. She was able to portray all sides of Katniss perfectly. She reminded why Katniss is such a great character and was quite the inspiration to watch on screen.
Woody Harrelson as Haymitch was hilarious. He got that drunkard down to a T and his bantering back and forth with Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket was perfect! Elizabeth also did a wonderful job as Effie. She made you want to hit her, and then apologize afterwards because you know she means well.
Liam Hemsworth as Gale didn't get a lot of screen time, which was fine since he wasn't in the book all that much, but I could already tell that he is going to do a really good job playing Gale in the future movies.
I wasn't sure how I felt about Lenny Kravitz as Cinna when he was first announced as the actor, but after watching the movie I liked his portrayal and performance a lot. He was the calm throughout the whole movie and it was obvious that he truly cared for Katniss's well-being.
And oh my gosh, Stanley Tucci as Caesar Flickerman was one of my favorites. I love Stanley Tucci anyway, but he was wonderful, absolutely wonderful. He was also one of the comic reliefs in the film.
Donald Sutherland as President Snow was more terrifying than Voldemort. You could just tell that behind his calm demeanor and white beard, there was a madman.
Willow Shields as Primrose, Paula Malcomson as Mrs. Everdeen, and Amandla Sternberg as Rue were also wonderful. Prim and Rue reminded me so much of my little sisters, which made Rue's death even more heartbreaking.

But Josh Hutcherson as Peeta stole the show. When he was announced as the actor playing Peeta, I have to admit that I wasn't sure he was the right actor for the role.
Boy, was I dead wrong.
It's like Josh went into my mind, figured out how I imagined Peeta, and played him EXACTLY like that. By the end of the movie, I was a puddle on the ground. I have always loved Peeta, even more than Ron Weasley, and to see him so perfectly portrayed was more wonderful than words can describe.

Part Two: The Plot
They didn't leave out one single thing that was necessary for future plot development. Seriously.
Sure, they left out things and changed a few things around.
Katniss found the mockingjay pin instead of it being given to her by Madge, but Madge was essentially an unimportant character so it wasn't a big deal.
They cut down a lot of the stuff in the arena, like Katniss's search for water and food, but was that really necessary? Nope.
I think the success of the plot has to do with the fact that Suzanne Collins helped a lot with the screenplay. Whenever an author is the screenwriter or helps a lot with the process, it's a good sign that the movie is going to stay true to the book.

Part Three: Violence, effects, make-up, etc.
There was the perfect amount of violence in the movie. Some people might be critical and say that there wasn't, but they must not understand the true meaning of the book. Yes, it could have been very graphic and very bloody, but then they would be portraying exactly what Suzanne Collins was disagreeing with when she wrote the book. There was enough to leave you cringing, but not enough to make you gag.
The special effects and make-up were also very well done. I especially enjoyed the make-up of the Capitol citizens. It was so outlandish and gaudish; exactly like it's described in the book.
I also really enjoyed the scenery of District Twelve and the layout of the Capitol. The imagery in the movie was wonderful and truly captured the spirit of the novel.

Conclusion
Best book to movie adaption I have ever watched. It's in the top three of my favorite movies of all time, and if I had the money I would go see it again today. I don't see how any fan of the Hunger Games would NOT like the movie, but that is my personal belief.

Rating: A+

daughters.

I know I said that my next blog would be my review of The Hunger Games, but something has been on my mind today and I felt like sharing it.
(By the way, 5 hours!!!!!!!! :D)

Have you ever heard people say this?
"I don't want daughters when I grow up. They are too much work."
"Girls are hard to raise, so I just want sons."

I don't even know how many times I've heard people say this, and the REALLY sad thing is that it's usually from girls themselves.
Do we really think so low of ourselves as a gender that we don't want to even think about raising daughters?
Do you think so low of yourself that you seem to think it was difficult for your parents to raise you because of your gender?

My parents have had to raise four girls and one boy.
My own mother had this to say, "I would rather raise girls any day. Boys think too much with their penises."
Now, I'm not saying that girls are easier to raise than boys. I think each gender brings their own challenges to the table when you're raising them. But to say that girls are too difficult to raise is not only untrue, but rude and sexist.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this post, I truly am. But I am a firm believer in women's rights, and one of them is the right to NOT be hated for being a female. And personally, I can't wait to be the mother of daughters so I can teach them the proper way to be a lady.

2 days and 12 hours...

...until I'm sitting in the movie theatre waiting to FINALLY see The Hunger Games movie.

I'm actually kind of in a grumpy mood today because I don't think I can wait much longer.

I want to swoon over Peeta. I want to cheer for Katniss. I want to cry over Rue. I want to curse the Capitol. I want to feel the same exhilaration and thrill I did when I first read the book three years ago.

A lot of people have been going all ga-ga over comparing The Hunger Games to Twilight and Harry Potter, which is completely ridiculous.

Hunger Games: a book about government, freedom, independence, and violence
Twilight: a book about a girl needing a boy to survive
Harry Potter: a book about awesome

While Harry Potter will always be my FAVORITE book series (of all time, ever.) I am really happy that so many people are reading The Hunger Games. I think it's safe to say that I know more people that have read Katniss's story than have read Harry's.
And I'm a big enough HP fan to realize why that is.

1. Hunger Games is much shorter than HP. While I enjoyed reading all seven books, the average person just doesn't enjoy reading that much. All three HG books are short and easy to read, which is perfect for the average reader.
2. HP is about magic and considered to be fantasy. HG is more realistic/futuristic fiction. People are more drawn to HG's plot than one of fantasy and magic, because, to be frank, people don't like using their imagination anymore.

I say this not to say that Hunger Games is trash compared to Harry Potter. I say it, because I think they are two completely different series, and one is just naturally going to attract more readers. I also have noticed that people who don't enjoy reading, like my little brother and one of my best friends, loved reading the books.
So, if the Hunger Games are making more people read, I think that's the best thing EVER.

So until my next blog post, which will be my review of the movie, may the odds be ever in your favor.

Oh, Peeta! <3

harry potter snubbed.

Tonight was the Oscars. I was going to watch it, but I decided to go see The Secret World of Arrietty instead (which was FABULOUS).

So, I was a little miffed when I checked Mugglenet when I got home to find out that Harry Potter did not win ONE SINGLE AWARD.

I've been holding off on my rant about this until now hoping that the Academy might finally acknowledge Harry Potter this year. But no, nothing.

The facts that Harry Potter is the number one movie franchise of all time, that Deathly Hallows Part 2 is the 3rd biggest movie of all time, and that there were SO many talented people in front of and behind the camera working on these movies seems to have been lost on the "fine people of the Academy."

I understand. Harry Potter is not your average Oscar winning movie. But was Lord of the Rings? No, I don't think so. I'm not even asking for the movies to win Best Picture or Best Director. But they have never even won a technical award in the 10 years they have been a part of Hollywood. I think that is awful and it's not just because I'm a Harry Potter nerd. The cast and crew of the movies have done so much for cinema during their decade of work.

They got their recognition from the British film industry last year. It's a damn shame that the America film industry has done NOTHING, when they were produced by an American film company.

Day 30

How I've Changed in the Past Month.


I haven't really changed much in the past month.

Life has been sorta melancholy lately.

I've been feeling restless and annoyed more, but I think it's because my anxiety and stress levels are rising with midterms and such approaching.

But this 30 Day Blog Challenge was fun.
And thanks to all who read every day! Sorry it wasn't more exciting, but I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Keep looking out for future posts about whatever topic pops into this crazy head of mine!

Day 29

Where Do I See Myself in Ten Years?


This is a tricky question. If you had asked me last year, I would have said "Teaching, married, living in West Michigan, maybe with kids."

Now, I'm not so sure.

There are a lot of things I want to do in my life and a lot of different roads that I could go down.
I know that I want to be married and starting a family, but I don't know where I'll be living, what job I would have, if I'm still in school, etc.
It's scary for me to not know what my life will be like... but I know that God has something pretty wonderful planned for me, so I have faith.

Day 28

A Story.


At least, the beginning of one. 

Will had a way of getting into “sticky situations”, as his mom would call them. He would often skip history lessons to go flying on his pet dragon Xavier or get caught sneaking into the royal orchards past curfew.

But this was his stickiest situation yet.

“William Vincent Karth, what were you thinking?” His mother asked after the palace guards had brought him home at three in the morning after being caught in the royal stables with two girls and another boy.

“That it would be a bit of fun.” He replied cheekily. Evanna Karth pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily.

“I will deal with you in the morning. Go to your bedroom. And don’t think about running off again; I’m going to put guards at your door and beneath your window.” Will rolled his eyes and strolled down the hall to his bedroom. Evanna watched her eldest son leave wondering what her late husband Peter would have done differently.

“A month of extra history lessons, extra chores and absolutely no fun until she declares I’ve learned my lesson. Frankly, I thought she could have done better.” Will reported his punishment to his best friend Dexter Maloney the next morning.

“I have to babysit my brat sister after lessons for the next month while her nanny is on maternity leave.”

“That’s rough, mate.” Their history teacher Sir Stephen of Coda walked in.

“Good morning gentlemen. I’m glad to see that all of you decided to join us today.” He looked pointedly at Will who smirked. “Today, I am happy to welcome a new student to our classroom.” He glanced out in the hallway and nodded. Will did not expect a girl to walk into the classroom wearing the traditional deep green cloaks of a student.

“Gentlemen, this is Juno Chester. She is a new student to our fine school and I expect you to treat her with respect. Take a seat anywhere in the classroom, Juno.”

“Thank you, Sir.” She replied in a light voice. She chose a seat next to Dexter, who looked just as shocked as Will that a girl was allowed admittance to their prestigious school. All throughout class Will tried to catch her eye, but she kept her eyes at the front of the class the entire time. She seemed to be really intent on listening to everything Sir Stephen said about the military history of their nation.

“Who do you think she is?” Dexter asked at lunch that day.

“Has to be from a very, very wealthy family. Probably bought her way in. There’s no way a girl is smart enough to just get in without money.” Will replied.

“Actually, there is.” Will whipped around to see Juno standing behind them holding an apple. “It’s called having a brain and most girls have them. Maybe if you actually talked to one instead of only looking at them, you would realize that.” She said with a bitter tone. She turned to leave and then looked back.

“By the way, I’m your history tutor. Meet me in the library tomorrow after your last class. Bring your history book.” The boys were silent for a while after she left.

“Wait, we have a book for history?” Will said. Dexter clapped his best friend on the back.

“It’s probably a good thing you’re getting extra lessons, mate.”

“Mother! Where are you!” Will yelled as soon as he got into their manor home.

“There is no need to yell, William.” Evanna walked out of the study down the hall.

“A girl? Really? A girl tutor? That is the best you could find?”

“What are you talking about?”

“My history tutor is the new girl at school. Why did you pick her?”

“I didn’t pick her. I spoke with Sir Stephen this morning and he assured me that he would pick the best student in class as your tutor. If it’s this girl, then so be it.”

“But… that’s just not fair!”

“What isn’t fair is you sneaking off in the middle of the night acting like a silly peasant boy, not the heir to the Greenwood estate. It’s about time you grew up and started acting like a man. I’m tired of dealing with your immaturity.” Evanna snapped and turned away. Will stormed outside to the patio. His younger brother was sitting there reading a book.

“Fighting with Mum again?” Benjamin asked without even looking up.

Will crossed the patio to the fountain and sat on the edge.

“She doesn’t understand.”

“What doesn’t she understand?”

“That I don’t want this. I don’t want to waste my life running Greenwood and being a pompous royal.”

“Well, Dad wasn’t like that. So why do you think you’ll be like that?”

“Dad also ran Greenwood into debt with his atrocious and wasteful spending. He didn’t care about this place enough to run it successfully. All he cared about was his magic and looked where that landed him. Dead.”

“Will, don’t talk about Father like that.” Benjamin set his book down and looked at his older brother. “Father was a good man. He cared about us and Catherine and Mum. He might not have been the best Lord of Greenwood, but he was a good Father.”

“You’re only saying that because you were his favorite. The sorcerer prodigy he always wanted. Catherine and I were nothing to him.” Will spat out, becoming more angry by the minute. Benjamin stared at his brother blankly for a moment before getting up.

“Mum’s right. You do need to grow up.” He gathered his books up and left. Will sat clenching and unclenching his fists trying to control his temper, before deciding to do the one thing that always calmed him down; going for a ride on his dragon, Xavier.

It was tradition for parents to give their heir a dragon egg for their 13^th birthday. It was a symbol of royalty and wealth. Will remembered how excited he was to finally receive his egg. He had gone on dragon rides with his Father before on his Father’s dragon, Yolene, but he wanted one of his own.

On his birthday, he woke and ran to the entrance of their home, where his parents and Sir Robert, the Master Dragon Trainer, sat around the fireplace. Sir Robert was holding a gold speckled black egg over the fire with tongs. All day long Will helped Sir Robert with keeping his dragon egg over the flames. It wasn’t until late in the evening that it began to crack. After many hours of watching it crack and break open, Will was finally able to meet his very own dragon. He was black with light gold wings, a pointed snout and long talons. Will named him Xavier and a friendship was formed. As soon as Xavier turned one and was considered an adult, they began training with Sir Robert. It was hard and frustrating work, but in the end it paid off.

The dragon’s keep was located outside the capital, behind the stables and orchards.

“Good afternoon, Ratatoo.” Will greeted the dwarf that worked at the keep.

“Afternoon, Sir William. How are you doing today?”

“I’ve been better. You?”

“Oh, can’t complain. Found out my wife is having another baby! Makes it our third.” Ratatoo boasted proudly.

“Congratulations! Tell Yvonne my family sends their blessing.” Will said shaking the proud father’s hand.

“Thank you! Will you be needing any help this afternoon?”

“No, just going for a ride on Xavier.”

“Alright, sir. I better get to cleaning. Have a good one!”

“You too, Ratatoo.” Will walked past the main office and the dragon house and went into the giant enclosed pen. He whistled three times and called for Xavier. After a short time he heard Xavier flying overhead and swooping down into the pen.

“Hello, Xavier.”

“Hello, William.” Xavier spoke in a gravelly voice. Dragons were the only mythological creatures that had the ability to speak, deeming them rights and privileges under law. The Dragon Protection Act gave them right to deny their eggs to nobles, but most dragon mothers were willing to give up one of their eggs in exchange for gold and treasure.

“Were you hunting?” Will asked.

“Yes, but it can wait. Where do you want to go today?”

“I was thinking the Denark Mountains.”

“Excellent. I can probably hunt a few goats while I’m there.”

“Great, I’ll grab the saddle.”

A few minutes later, Will’s custom-made leather saddle was strapped on the back of Xavier and they were up in the air. After a couple hours of flying, they landed at their destination. Will sat under a tree and read his history book while Xavier hunted.

“So, what was the reasoning for this adventure?” Xavier asked after he was finished chasing mountain goats.

“Long story short… Mum hired a girl tutor for me after I got caught in the royal stables again.”

“What is so wrong with that?”

“Did you not hear me? It’s a girl tutor. The only girl at our school, actually.”

“Aren’t girls just as capable as boys?”

“Well… I don’t know.”

“Haven’t you said that your mum is smarter than some of your teachers? And isn’t Catherine quite bright as well?” Will didn’t respond. “I think you are letting your pride get into your way of rational thinking, William. Obviously this girl is intelligent enough to get into your school, making her your equal, maybe even your inferior. If it was a boy tutor you would have found some excuse why you wouldn’t want him as your tutor.”

“Fine, it’s humiliating. I mean, I’m the only student in my class that needs a tutor. It’s not like I really need one; I just think it’s a worthless subject.”

“Maybe if you start attending class instead of skipping, your mother would have thought of a different punishment. You are obviously intelligent, you are just too lazy to be successful.”

“Your wisdom can be irritating sometimes…” Will grumbled.

“Well, your complaining can be irritating sometimes.” Xavier rebuttled. Will snorted and laid back on the grass.

“Touche, Xavier. Touche.”  

Day 27

Describe Your Day.


I woke up around 8:30 after hitting my snooze button a few times.
After getting ready for the day, I went to Einstein Brothers for a bagel and coffee and went to my Psychology of Women class. We watched a very disturbing video about how the media and advertisements objectify and scrutinize women. Then I went to my Middle Eastern history class and after that my African history class, where I learned stuff.
After I was done I went out to lunch with my Grandma and Aunt to the Italian Oven! It was a wonderful time and it was super nice to catch up with my family!
I went back to my room and found three beautiful carnations waiting for me from my sweet boyfriend! :)
I hung out in my room for rest of the afternoon, until Matt got out of class and took me out to Chinese! Unfortunately he got sick and we had to cut dinner short, but we came back to my dorm, he bought me pizza and now we're just relaxing in my room.

It's been a splendid Valentine's Day. :)

love.

Love is the greatest accomplishment one can achieve in life. Whether it's the love of family, lover, or friends, it can literally change the course of one's life forever. 

It's the strongest emotion we can feel; why do you think there are so 

many songs, poems, and stories about love?  

 When you are in love, you are willing to fight through the difficult times, because the good outweighs the bad. You aren't blind to each other's faults or oddities; you embrace them because they make your loved one even more special. 

As a hopeful romantic, I struggle with the concept of Valentines Day.

Since I have been single for all of my previous Valentines Days, I have never really celebrated it. I've never been a fan of it, but I also don't hate it like a lot of my fellow peers seem to.

But for this Valentine's Day I am in a wonderful and very happy relationship, so I have been questioning my stance on V-Day.

Here it is.

While Valentines Day is over commercialized, cheesy, expensive, and sometimes tasteless it's also just a day to celebrate the best thing about humanity... our capability to love.
I know I've used this quote from Hank Green before, but it is so perfect I need to use it again to make my point.

"Loving each other is pretty much the most important thing we do. It's not just the reason the each of us as individuals exist, it's the reason why our species and our civilization exist. It's the only reason why we can do the marvelous, magnificent human things!" 


I choose to celebrate V-Day because I think love is pretty awesome. Sure, I can celebrate my relationship on my anniversary but I guess I don't have a real problem with having another reason to spend some quality time with the best guy I know. None of the expensive dates, presents, or mushy gushy love letters.
Spending some good ol' quality time with Matthew is the only thing I asked for this V-Day.

And flowers, because I really, really, REALLY like flowers. :)

So whether you agree or disagree with me...

I wish you all a very Happy Valentine's Day.

Day 26

A Memory. 


A recent memory.

The first time I met Matthew was last spring semester in our HST 101 class.
I looked over my shoulder and this cute brunette boy was looking at me. I was a little creeped out, but he was pretty cute so I also found it funny. From that point on we would catch each other's eyes. One day, I noticed that we had mutual friends when he was hanging out with my neighbors. He eventually sent me a friend request on Facebook, and the next time he went by my room I said hey and our friendship began. :)

A distant memory.


Every summer my family and I would spend most weekdays at my Grandma Frens' home. We would usually eat lunch and head over and spend the whole afternoon over there, swimming, eating ice cream, and playing with our cousins. Some of my favorite memories involving my cousins are from that time. We would race each other to get the best bathing suits and toys. I will always hold a special place in my heart for Schwann's ice cream and tropical punch juice and Sprite.