a dream.

I would like to be a published author before I die.
I want to see my imagination come alive on the pages of a book, so someone other than myself can enjoy them.
I want to touch someone with the written word, like I was with JK Rowling, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Suzanne Collins, Gail Carson Levine, Tamora Pierce and Cornelia Funke the first time I read them.

Do I think I'm worthy to be published right now?
Heck no, but I'm working on it.
Sometimes, I doubt I'm talented enough, but then I remember that someone published "Twilight" so I should have a chance.
Ha. Twilight jokes. Gotta love them.

Anyway, I was just pondering over that dream of mine as I worked on this little story I'm writing. Actually, I have three stories and one fanfiction I'm working on.
And yes, it was the story that I've been posting on here! Unfortunately, I don't think I'm going to continue doing that... I thought about it, and it might not be the best decision to put it out on the web if I do hope to publish it in the future.
Don't worry, if you would like to continue hearing about my progress with the story just keep reading my blogs! I promise to keep you updated with Esperanza and William's relationship. Trust me, it's going to be good!

What dreams do you have that you want to accomplish before you die? Just choose one, and profess it to the world! Let everyone know what you're passionate about! Oh, and keep it PG, please.

On a last note: I love "Tangled." If you haven't watched it yet, DO IT. You won't regret it. I promise.

Hometown Love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDmuLWQggXc
I recommend watching this video. It's what inspired this blog.

Growing up in a small, rural community I have heard many complaints from my classmates over the years about our "sucky town."

However, I don't think anyone should hate their hometown, because your hometown is more than just a city. It doesn't matter if you grew up in Small Town USA, like me, or in Detroit, everyone should be proud of their hometown.
It's the place you were born and raised, the place your parents decided to live and raise their family and the city where you went to school, made friendships, created memories, and become the person you are today.

Some of you might be dying to get of your hometown and see the world, and to you guys I say "Great! Can I come along on your world travels?"
Just remember, when you are sitting in a pub in Ireland, or traveling down the Amazon, where you came from. You can't change where you grew up, so why not be proud of it instead of hate it?

In closing, I would recommend, just like Charlie did in his video, that the next time you are in your hometown, take a walk around. You might be surprised what you find.

loser.freak.geek.dork.nerd.weird.

One thing I've never understood is why people use the word "nerd" in a negative connotation. 

I think being a nerd is the most awesome thing ever. However, there are people out there that seem to think that if you like video games, reading, dragons, and other nerdy things, that you are a bad person. 

Why is that?

Is it because we have enough confidence in ourselves, that we don't feel the need to put others down? 

In my own life, I have had to deal with haters in a couple different cases. 

In high school, I was a member of the theatre company, and because of that, people would stereotype us as "theatre nerds," and they didn't mean it in a good way. We were thought of as weird, strange and different, because we enjoyed spending our time acting and being in the company. 

Also, I have heard people make fun of me because I am a proud Harry Potter nerd. They think it's "stupid," "pointless," and "fanatic" for me to actually have something in my life that I enjoy. 

I guess I've just never understood why people feel the need to make fun of people for being different. I am friends with a lot of different people, and I am the type of person that finds beauty in everyone. We all have passions in life, and no one deserves to be made fun of for their passions. To be blunt, we just need to stop the hate. Who cares if that person likes studying medieval battle tactics, or that person likes fairies? So what if that person has red hair, or that person is a Muslim, or that person is homosexual? 

Instead of trying to find faults in each other, we should be working together to make this world a better place. 

Instead of hate, let's try some love. 

I'm going to end this post with a quote by the great Albus Dumbledore. It's one of my personal favorites, because it can be applied to today's world so perfectly. Substitute "Lord Voldemort" with ignorance, hatred, or narrow-mindedness, and you'll see what I mean.

‎"Lord Voldemort's gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open." -Albus Dumbledore.

<3

imaginary boyfriends.

I've only been in one relationship, which lasted two weeks. I'm not going to delve into the details, in respect for my ex, but I can assure you that I was not in love. 

However, over the years I have had many celebrity crushes.
First, it was Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys.
Next, Orlando Bloom took my fancy. (He was also my first British man love.)
After Orlando, three brothers from New Jersey stole my heart. The Jonas Brothers were an essential part of my high school life, and they still hold a dear place in my heart.
Now, I have a hodgepodge of "celebrity crushes", including Darren Criss, Ryan Reynolds, Dev Patel and Aaron Johnson. (And I can't forget Charlie McDonnell, even though he doesn't consider himself a celebrity, because all he does is make YouTube videos... but he's still made of a lot of awesome in my eyes.)

I have been called boy-crazy before. I have been called a crazy fangirl. I have been made fun of for liking men that I have absolutely no chance with.

None of that has ever really bothered me, because people aren't telling me anything I don't know already. I realize that my "celebrity crushes" are stupid, pointless, and even ridiculous at times. So, call me pathetic. Just know, that I don't see what's so wrong with admiring celebrities. It's not like I'm stalking them behind bushes, or posting crazy "OMG I LURVE U SOOOOO MUCH. WILL U MARRY ME?!?!?!?! <3" posts on their Facebook walls.

If I have no one else to go all "fangirl" for in real life, then why not imagine Darren Criss serenading me? I assure you, once that special guy enters my life I will "fangirl" over him just like I did with the Jonas Brothers.
Ok, maybe I won't write a bajillion pointless fanfiction stories about him, but you get my idea.

greatest fear.

Lately, I've been thinking about death. That sounds morbid and depressing, and it really is. I don't know what triggered these thoughts, but I do know that I have worried myself sick over thinking about the idea of dying.

Which is slightly ironic.

What terrifies me isn't the idea of an afterlife necessarily, because I do believe there is a God and an afterlife. But at the same time, the idea of not being here, living in the flesh on Earth with my family by my side freaks the hell out of me. I keep reminding myself that if there is truly a Heaven, then I will be with them there. But my mind loves to play tricks on me and I still get freaked out over the idea of death.

Then I thought, well maybe it's not dying that scares me, but the idea of dying right now, as a 19 year old college student, that scares me. There are so many things I haven't done, places I haven't been, experiences I haven't had yet. I don't want to die without visiting London, without finding my true love, without having a family of my own, and making a difference in student's lives. There's the old song that says only the good die young... but I'm not sure I really like that idea.

I just need to stop worrying and thinking about my eventual death, and instead focus all my energy on living. I still have a lot left to do, and I don't want to have an regrets when I meet Jesus at Heaven's gates.

And I'm sorry if I worried any of you with this slightly disturbing and depressing post... but I really needed to sort out my feelings and thoughts. If I didn't do this, I would probably need to admit myself into an insane asylum. Not really.

introductions are in order.

I was going to write a blog tonight to reflect the madness within, but I decided that it would make more sense to write why I'm starting a blog anyway.

I am not doing this for anyone except myself. I realized I need a safe and healthy outlet to release some of the thoughts that crowd my mind.
Some of my posts will be happy, optimistic, "oh my goodness, life is so good!"
While some posts will be full of anger and frustration.

For the people that do happen across my blogs, I promise you this: I am not going to be the ranting blogger who hates life. I will always try to sort out my thoughts into a meaningful order, in hopes to come to some sort of realization about life, love, death, religion, friendship and dragons.
I really like dragons, ok?

Wow, I already feel better. This blog idea might be a good idea after all.