Once upon a time...
There was a woman named Tonya Pell. She married Ronald Weasley in a beautiful ceremony by the sea.
Unable to have children of their own, they decided to adopt 8 children, Corbin, Katie, Cynthia, Brian, Ashley, Meagan, Andrew and Marquerite.
Corbin is Tonya's favorite child. He is the best. No ifs, ands or buts about it. He's also twins with Meagan.
Katie is the smart-ass of the family.
Cynthia is slightly crazy, but well loved by all.
Brian is the reclusive gamer.
Ashley is the bad child.
Meagan is the REALLY bad child, and that's why she lives across campus. She is a twin with Corbin.
Andrew is a terrible, no-good, rotten boy.
Marquerite is just nice and sweet. Sadly, she's leaving us next year :(
Sadly, Ronald left Tonya shortly after they adopted their children, because he could not stand his son Andrew, and he fell in love with Hermione Granger.
Tonya's heart broke into millions of pieces.
Luckily she has her sister, Karyn, who is always drunk, and her brother Kosta, who is abusive, to help her raise her children.
Oh, and Headmaster Scott helps whenever he is able. He's the Headmaster of Calkins Hall and can control the weather.
This is the tale of the dysfunctional family of Calkins Terrace.
They lived happily ever after.